I have an overwhelming feeling that today; we need to address suicide. I am not going to be all super religious about this topic; because suicide is just as real as the American dream. Apart of my testimony is that I use to be suicidal for years. From age 13-25; thats along time to be confused and in bondage to deceit, hurt and distrust. I know that in these times we are often taught to keep alot of things hidden; dont display vulnerability. Sometimes people dont actually say thisto us; its the things that happen to us; that indirectly tells us not to show weakness or a need for help.
I say the devil is a liar! God says that his strength is made perfect in our weakness. Never, allow anything or anyone to convince you that you have to cover up what you feel. If you dont get those things that hurt out; they began to kill yoy from the inside out and it begans to fester over into your heart, your mind and no doubtly your actions. Free your mind!
If you are hurting , have disappointments express them; talk to a friend, go to a parent,a teacher, a sibling, Pastor; most importantly talk to God. God can change lives; I am a witness that prayer helps; it works. If you have to get a journal write your feelings down; label your journal,Letters to God and when you write these letters you are sharing your feelings with God and leave them there. Dont go back and read the letter because all you are doing is putting back in what you just put out; gave to God.
Never hold your hurt in; these feelings of loneliness , confusion, neglect, abuse, disappointment are real and if you dont acknowledge them they set up a secret bootcamp and you can spend years in combat with them. I suffered from this until; I finally ask God to free me; I had to be free; I couldnt spend the rest of my life feeling like I wanted to die every other day.
There had to be a purpose for my life because for over 12 years of attempts they all failed; my God, my God, definitely had a plan for me and he has one for you, I dont know if you are feeling this are someone you know; but it is time to release this bondage; we will no longer allow the enemy to control what God never gave him control over; our lives; God is the Beginning and the end theirfore all things begin with him and ends with him. Everything in between is to be lived knowing that God is in control of it all including our lives.
We will leave and not die; we will have the victory! I want you to know that the day I gave my life to God on my 25th birthday; I never ever suffered with suicidal thoughts or attempts. I have been hurt since then, mistreated, left and neglected; but, I know that God loves me and he always take care of me. I know God's love so in those times; thats what I leanon. God's unconditionally love. God loves you outrageously! No matter what you are, what you did, who you did, what you have or dont have. God loves you despite of your not loving yourself. God can teach you how to love yourself and when he does you can tell someone else how God didthat for you.
I did not wake up and say I am not going to kill myself onmy own; I was suicidal all my life at that point; hurt and pain thats what I knew. God did it; his peace did it; see he said when you give your life to him you are born again; you become a new creature; his holyspirit lives in you and when that happens you began to change in ways you never though; your desires change and for me the desire to kill my self changed.
I started to learn of a love that loved me when I paid it no attention; I started to hear that God said I was more than a conqueror and that if any man be in christ is a new creatue;old things are pass away; behold all things become new; that told me that that girl from before was gone. I had to walk in my new because that was my chance I had been longing for.
I enourage you; if you do not know christ; to seek him and if you want to know christ right now and to receive him in your life; say this prayer with me:
Lord, I ask that you come into my life
my heart as my shepherd, my Lord and
my saviour, I ask that you forgive me
of all my sins; I repent Lord
one by one. In Jesus Name Amen!
Welcome Home! I urge you to find a covering; a church that is bible taught so that you can began to develop your relationship with God through his son Jesus Christ. Everyone needs to be under a Pastor for protection, nurturing and elevation. I pray that you seek this. As, you began your new journey; there will be difficult times; but there will be some amazing blessings to come especially out of those difficult times. You can always come here to this blog and as I grow; we grow. If you have any questions, comments are prayer request; always contact me by clicking on comments.
I pray for everyone; even if you never make a comment because i know there are persons who view this blog and never sign in as a follower or they follow me privately; thats fine. I just want to be a blessing; I pray for each of you; however, if you need to connect with me directly leave a comment.
Remember, when we have to ask God for forgiveness and God gives it freely, then forgive those who hurt you and please forgive yourself.
I love you!
For your Study and strengthening
1 Corinthinians 14:33
2 Corinthians 5: 17 -19
2 Corinthians 12:9